Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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