my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize