There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
