I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
He has the fingertips of a God
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