how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
