well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
