why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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