ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
