please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
where does the pee come out of this thing
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize