This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
