I hope mine doesn't look like that
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
