Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
