I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
