I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
