I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
