Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize