Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
