Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
