i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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