I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
