he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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