I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
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