I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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