don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
