I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
