No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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