The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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