are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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