It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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