Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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