Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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