Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
