She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
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It's official drugs can't kill me
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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