Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
