do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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