I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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