take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
How naked do you want me to be?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
