My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We left the knife in your bed.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize