I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
