Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
