Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.