Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
