you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize