just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
