plz talk dirty to me
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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