I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
she told me i tasted like america
She's the barista slut.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
