In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
The struggles of a small town man whore
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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