all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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