I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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