i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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