You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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