Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
