also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
