TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
