Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
