a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
