Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
