My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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