...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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