Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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