great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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