my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
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