A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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