Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I bet he comes in French.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
