thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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