there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
