there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
