Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
